Leo is 10 years old. For most of his life he"s lived as a girl, but this summer he began to speak openly about his sense that this didn"t feel quite right. With research help for his parents, he"s decided he is non-binary – in his case, both masculine and feminine – though for the moment he dresses as a boy and has taken a male name. This is Leo"s story in his own words.
I"m not a boy.
I thought I was a boy, because I"m not entirely a girl. We tried that for a bit, and I thought: "No, this is not right."
Then we did some research and we found the word is gender non-binary… and it really works, it"s just me.
I don"t know what age I was when I identified that I wasn"t feeling right.
Actually I told my teacher first. I got really frustrated because I asked why none of the girls got boys" parts in a play that we were doing. It wasn"t right.
I pulled her over and said: "I"m not a girl."
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Hear Leo"s story on the iPM programme, broadcast at 05:45 and 17:30 BST on Radio 4 – catch up on BBC iPlayer Radio
She didn"t think I was lying. But because it"s not very common at all, I don"t think she entirely thought that was how I was feeling.
I brought up the conversation with mum. I knew that mum would be totally supportive, but because I didn"t know if this was actually how I was feeling, it felt like I should wait until I was sure. But then I didn"t think that would do any good either.
I was quite nervous.
Mum was completely on board. Totally interested.
"What would be your name if you were a boy? You"ve always been more attracted to boys, would you be gay man or a straight man?"
In some families, they"re just going to laugh, they"re not going to believe. Or they don"t know how to react, so they don"t react. I don"t how I would cope.
So I"m really lucky. It"s so great that I have these two wonderful parents.
At school everyone was absolutely great. My teacher told the class, and all my friends were like: "Oh wow. That"s really interesting."
Because we"re 10 and nine, it just doesn"t affect anything.
We just play, we don"t actually talk a lot about personal stuff.
Me and one of my friends – who"s a girl – were playing in the sandpit.
She was like: "So are you a boy?"
More from the Magazine
Non-binary people are those who don"t feel male or female. They may feel like both or like something in between. They may have a gender that changes over time or they may not relate to gender at all.
A guide to transgender terms (June 2015)
"No, I"m not a boy or a girl. I"m non-binary, so I"m in the middle."
She said: "So you"re neither?"
I actually don"t think I"m neither. I"m both.
I really want to use the boys" loos because it"s more right than using the girls. I"m not allowed to and I think I should be able to.
I can understand because there are lots of older boys using the loos who might be a bit worried about someone (being there) who doesn"t have what they have.
I still feel that "he" doesn"t feel particularly right. I feel more right as "ze" or "they", but they draw attention to me and my gender when we"re trying to have a conversation about trousers.
When I"m older, I"m going to make that decision again, instead of just sticking with "he".
There isn"t a body of the two genders. I just wish there was some way in the middle.
When I grow up it"s going to be harder for me to say I"m not a girl.
At the moment, I do wear a bra. But if I wear a sports shirt I can kind of get away with it.
Breasts are the main thing people notice. I do correct people when people use the word "boy" and "she".
I say: "I"m sorry, I"m not a boy or a girl." And leave it at that.
If they ask questions, I answer, but it doesn"t have to be the centre of attention.
It"s not even the most interesting thing about me.
I really like the idea of having a beard. I really like the idea.
You can put hair from your head into your chin, and it grows like a beard.
People with girls" bodies use it. My friend"s dad told me that it works. Maybe he made a mistake.
If there was a way of doing that without getting hormone blockers and male hormones… but then again people would say: "Look at that MAN"S beard."
I don"t want people to associate me with one gender or another.
But I know they will, I don"t think there is any way of escaping that.
I"m feeling a lot happier than before. I"m feeling a lot more relaxed and I"m feeling able to talk about it without being all shy.
I don"t need people to understand.
I just need people not to be rude.
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"I"m not a boy or a girl"
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